Part 23: The Art of Sitting Still
- Kristina Crystal
- Sep 18, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 3, 2024
September 18, 2024
Well, here we are again, friends...
A year ago, on my birthday, I opened the kimono to the world, revealing my hair loss journey for all to witness. It was a daunting leap, wearing a wig out for the first time to my birthday dinner and I came home that evening to write a heartfelt Facebook post explaining what I was going through, drumming up some much-needed moral support because, at the time, I didn't know if it was all going to come back or just fall completely out. It felt good to get it out in the open and it was also the beginning of this blog that has been like therapy to me.
Even with all the doctors and diets and potions and prayers, my hair completely fell out. And now, for the past nine months, I've been completely bald, roaming around my house like a hairless cat, basking in sunbeams, taking long naps, and playing with sparkly things (as all good kitties do).
Amidst the solitude of this past year, I started experiencing something remarkable though-- 'sparkly' in its own way. I describe it as those "when time stands still" moments. While reading one day, I came across a concept that helped me better articulate it. It's the profound Japanese wisdom: "ichi-go ichi-e," meaning "one time, one encounter." It's so simple but makes so much sense. It's the notion of treasuring the unrepeatable-ness of the moment you are in.
From Instant Everything to the Art of Living
In a world of instant gratification, we've lost touch with this beautiful art of living in the moment. This summer, I made a conscious effort to recognize and savor those moments in my life:
• An amusing conversation about chickens with my mom over morning coffee
• Making my bed after a particularly restful night of sleep
• A first business meeting with someone you know will end up being a lifelong friend
• A neighbor stopping by just as a pot of espresso was bubbling on the stove
• Sitting contentedly with my feet in the pool, watching the sun set over the pond
• A first, hopeful kiss
• An evening dance party with my dog
I realized that I just needed to lose myself to find myself.
So as I flipped the calendar from August to September and yet another birthday approached, I began to plan a perfect solo evening, contentedly home alone making my own ichi-go ichi-e: A cozy night on the couch with my pup, a blanket, snacks, and a glass of wine, watching Emily in Paris.
But what's that saying about the "best-laid plans"?
The universe has a way of not letting you get too comfortable, I guess.
Instead of a quiet Labor Day weekend pitter-pattering around the house looking for balls of aluminum foil, empty boxes, and things to knock off the counter, I got restless. And yes, dear readers, you guessed it - in a moment of desperation I got online again to find myself a date. (Can't stop, won't stop.)
And in a turn of events, that very evening I ended up on a marathon, last-minute first date with a charming French man and his group of international acquaintances. Yay, me.
It was a beautiful evening that led to a few more dates which led to me unexpectedly having an actual date on my birthday. Ooh la la.
And just like that, my birthday went from an evening with my dog on my couch and some Netflix to a celebratory night on the town with a handsome French man. I'd like to think of it as my reward for paying attention to life. I think I had lost a lot of that, running from work to workouts to housework during the grind of daily life. This summer I shifted my priorities to add some color back into my life.
Some art. 🎨
Some music. 🎶
Some sparkle. ✨
Some reflections on embracing the concept of ichi-go ichi-e:
Say yes to random opportunities: Be open to spontaneous invitations that come your way.
Be open to new people: Every stranger could be a kindred spirit that you were meant to meet. Everyone has the power to bring value into our lives, even if we may not meet them again
Be present and observe: Use all five (six?) senses to anchor yourself in the beauty of the present and let go of negative emotions.
Savor the moment: Slow down and mindfully treasure the sensory experiences you have. Reflect and mentally log your gratefulness.
This philosophy has added a layer of richness to my life. It’s like adding a spice of flavor to our routine meals, our taken-for-granted lives.
It's knowing that even when we think we are lost, it simply takes a change of perspective, comforting us in the present and energizing us for the next encounter.
I've spent over a year now thinking about my hair loss: first trying to stop the shed, then trying to kickstart the regrowth.
I'm growing tired of thinking about it though, to be honest. My blog entries here are becoming less frequent, reflecting a shift in focus.
At this point, I'm no longer "Unexpectedly Bald" but just plain ole expectedly bald now and learning to live with it. Looking back over the last year, I think I am becoming more "Unexpectedly Me” instead, gaining some of my spirit back, some of the color that I lost along life’s harried journey.
So here's to another year around the sun gaining back more of my sparkle, with a bald head as shiny as the moon, placing faith in the universe to bring us what we need when we need it, and maybe learning a little French along the way…🇫🇷
Avec Amour…
Kristina 🩷
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