Part 20: Facing Reality

Cue up an Eminem song 'cuz guess who's back?

'Tis I.

Remember me? The fearless (or maybe slightly desperate) soul on a quest for hair regrowth after a clash with COVID? Yeah, it's me! And guess what? I'm back.

Before you go grab your confetti cannons though, let me level with you.  I thought I would re-emerge here like a phoenix from a fire, finally achieving glorious hair nirvana and riding off into the sunset on a unicorn with a luscious mane flowing behind me…like something on the front of my 7th-grade Trapper Keeper. But alas, dear souls, the hairpocalypse continues in all its bald glory. This time away has been a wild ride, filled with new experiences and a couple of solid ‘fails’, so I figured I'd pick up the proverbial pen and write again. Plus, maybe someone out there has cracked the hair growth code and is willing to share the secret recipe with their bald bestie?

So, what’s the story on these past few months? Well, my little soul-sucking date with COVID again after a work trip in February threw a wrench in my plans.  The docs wanted me to get on Paxlovid, stat, but of course, there was the pharmacy system hack that delayed my prescription processing for 5 critical days.  (BTW, what is that Paxlovid aftertaste? My doc warned me, but oof!) In the back of my mind, I was hoping for some miracle reversal of fortune-- that having COVID again would reboot my system back to normal and my hair would come back. Crazy, I know, but as you’ve read, crazier things have happened to me before. I was also finally able to get onto Olumiant, the JAK inhibitor that came with so much promise but after 3 months, ultimately delivered nothing but a few random patches of peach fuzz in questionable locations. Here's to hoping the next treatment holds more promise!

Bumbling through it...

Wigged up and ready to go out!^

On a brighter note, spring brought some fun flings with some extraordinary men:  a venture

capitalist, a heart surgeon, and a beach cabana boy (you read that right!).   It was so nice to dress up, get out of the house, and just feel like myself again.  The inevitable "hair truth" conversation eventually had to happen though, and things would shift. I'm still figuring out the best timing for this bombshell, but hey, progress! I now rock wig selfies on my dating profile – a small step, but a step nonetheless.

The good news? I'm learning to embrace the face - the hairless countenance I'm still seeing in my reflection.  I no longer scare myself when I look in the mirror in the morning (but I am currently in active negotiations with god to at least just give me my eyebrows back.)  So while this was a scary, isolating, life-shattering experience, it was also a chance for personal growth. Self-acceptance, resilience, authenticity, and the power of a well-coiffed wig – you name it, I'm working on it.

It's getting deep in here...

That brings me to the real reason I wanted to write today – something a little deeper than usual, it's a little long but stay with me….

Have you heard about the Japanese concept of the "three faces"? It blew my mind, wakening the little blogger in me and I had to share.  The idea is that we each have three faces or three masks that we present to the world.  These three "personas" are the essence of how we present ourselves differently to different audiences.

• The First Face: This is your public persona - the face you show to the world.  This is your carefully constructed façade that creates positive first impressions.  It's the version of yourself that you've built through life's experiences that you've found to give you the best chance of making friends, getting dates, and securing jobs.  This is your craftily curated online presence: smart, pretty, and without flaw.
  

• The Second Face: This face is closer to the real you - the face you show only to your inner circle of family and friends where you've created close bonds. Here, the armor comes off and you let people see the more unguarded version of yourself.  With these people, we feel safe enough to be vulnerable, be playful, be moody, and love deeply - experiencing genuine human connection.
  

• The Third Face: This is your inner sanctum, the most guarded part of yourself.  This face contains your true identity, which has emerged from that complex matrix of thoughts documented from every one of your life experiences. This is where your hopes, fears, secrets, and desires reside, shaping your subconscious journey.
  

The wisdom of this concept lies in balancing these personas - how we straddle that line between societal expectations and our true selves - operating more fully with personal authenticity.

Did you say "cow bell"?

My point of this whole kit and kaboodle (remind me to google that later) is that this past year of self-isolation forced me to confront this third mask, to explore the depths of my inner self. And guess what? I kinda like what I found down there. This goofy, creative, self-sufficient, slightly irreverent, thoughtful badass of a woman. Turns out, 30 years of being the "well-behaved, conservative, professional" sucked the life out of her.

This blog – you, my readers, cheering me on from the sidelines with your metaphorical cowbells – has been a big part of rediscovering that inner badass.  I realized that this blog is what has helped me start to swing that pendulum back, by sharing more of my authentic self with you all and I'm vowing to bring my masks a little closer together over this next year. If you have a few minutes this week, I encourage you to think more about this for yourself.

Enough with the psycho-babble, right? Let's wrap this up.

Yep, I can't believe it either, babes, but I'm back, and I'm ready to pick up where we left off. I wish I could tell you I have some exciting content planned to share with you, but the truth is, I don't plan this out.  No calculated moves here.  You're getting my story in real-time, and you never know what will come out of my mouth next, so…. 

Buckle back up, beautiful people, because your favorite badass baldie is back in action!

P.S. More cowbell, always.

Hope still springs eternal,

Kristina 🩷

kristina@unexpectedlybald.com

Read On

---

(Hey hottie....did you forget how it all began? Click here to start it from the top.)