Part 2: Hindsight is 20/20…

Kristina Crystal
Jul 1, 2023
2 min read

Updated: Jul 3, 2024

July 1, 2023

Looking back, hindsight's a cruel mistress with a killer mirror.

I wish I'd paid attention to those red flags like they were waving a bottle of tequila at the company holiday party. At first, I chalked it up to the usual suspects: stress, sleep deprivation, that questionable bottle of wine from last night. But when my shower drain started to clog like a bad romance, and my "dog's fur" mysteriously multiplied all over my bathroom floor, I knew something was up.

Take a vacation — * Shoulda, woulda, coulda....^

If I'd known this was the beginning of my personal hair-pocalypse:

If I'd known this was the beginning of my personal hair-pocalypse, I would've:

Kristina - Feeling It — *Gratuitous workout pic ^

Ditched the doughnuts and embraced kale: Turns out, inflammation isn't just for angsty teenagers. It can also send your hair follicles into early retirement. I should have gone straight to Whole Foods and loaded up on anything that involves kale chips.
Chilled the heck out: HIIT workouts are great, but apparently, my body wasn't in the mood for high-intensity anything. I should have worked to keep my overall stress levels down. Maybe meditation and chamomile tea instead? How about a little more "Netflix and nap" and a little less "Peloton until your lungs spontaneously combust."
Torn up that second page of my to-do list: My to-do list was longer than a mandatory corporate ethics training module on a Friday afternoon. I should have either called in the calvary and asked for more help, or just taken that whole second page and thrown it in a drawer to come back to next year.

So, dear readers...

Learn from my follicular faux pas. If your hair starts filling up that brush on the daily, don't just blame the dryer summer weather. Listen to your body, ditch the denial, and grab some vitamins. Because sometimes, the only thing fiercer than a woman with a power ponytail is a woman who's not afraid to face the bald truth (and maybe invest in some excellent biotin supplements, just in case).

Call to action: Share your own hair-raising (or hilarious) hair-loss stories in the comments! Let's build a community of follicularly-challenged badasses who can laugh at anything, even the fact that we're slowly turning into reverse Chia Pets

... or click here for Part 3: No no no no no no... That is absolutely NOT a bald spot.